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Tuesday, January 17, 2023

I’m a wedding officiant living in Durham, North Carolina and over the past years COVID has increased demand for Elopements and Micro-Weddings. People often ask me if I have any recommendations for where they should hold the ceremony. I have officiated at least one elopement in each of these beautiful locations. I highly recommend hopping in your car and checking out any public park that’s conveniently located to you, there are so many good options, you might find a hidden gem! However, if you don’t want to do a lot of searching, I personally know from experience that all of these locations are lovely.

At the time of writing, these locations all have either a small or no fee for having your elopement there. You should confirm with each individual location whether or not they are currently charging fees at the time of your elopement and confirm any rules you must follow or permits that need to be obtained.

Umstead Park, Raleigh

This has always been a popular location for Elopements or Micro Weddings, I’ve officiated weddings here even before the pandemic. There are quite a few trails you can get married along if you want a more woodsy feel to your ceremony, and there’s also a beautiful lake if you want to be by the water. There are shorter and longer trails, though most weddings require at least a small degree of hiking. There are also picnic shelters available in case of rain.

Umstead Park Website

Duke Park, Durham

Duke Park is a great little park in Durham to elope at if you don’t want to do a lot of walking/hiking. There are pretty trees you can use as a backdrop, or a picnic shelter if it rains.

Duke Park Website

Anderson Point Park, Raleigh

This park is similar to Duke Park, but located in Raleigh. It’s a beautiful little park with not as much hiking required and also has shelter in case of rain. Just take a short walk and decide if you want to get married in a wide open field or next to beautiful old trees.

Anderson Point Park Website

WRAL Azalea Gardens, Raleigh

The Azalea Gardens are particularly lovely in the spring and fall when the azalea’s are blooming, but the park is full of other North Carolina trees and flowers that brought back fond memories of childhood growing up on the Outer Banks for me. There is generally a pricier fee for renting the space for weddings, but recently they have waived their fee for small elopements because of covid. (Always confirm the current rules/prices for all of these locations as things are often changing due to covid.)

WRAL Azalea Gardens Website

Lake Crabtree County Park, Morrisville

Another lovely park, similar to Umstead in some ways, with both forest and lake views as options, there are also longer trails than some of these other options, though locations accessible to the parking lot are also available.

Lake Crabtree Park Website

Duke Forest, Durham

Duke Forest is another expansive area with many trails and ponds and all sorts of beautiful natural backgrounds for your ceremony. Dogs enjoy it too! Check out the area and decide if you want a long hike or a short one!

Duke Forest Website

Eno River

There are multiple lovely locations along the Eno River to get married, West Point on the Eno has the Old Saw Mill and the Cole Mill Road Access has a swinging bridge. Plus the beautiful river, rocks, and trees are available at any location! Most couples scout out a place ahead of time and let me know where to meet them.

Falls Lake Park, Wake Forest

For those in the Wake Forest Area, Falls Lake offers an expansive variety of woods, trails, and ponds as well, just make sure everyone is on the same page about which access point you’re meeting at!

Falls Lake Park Website

Bonus: Windy Hill Farm, Cedar Grove

If you want to splurge a little, Windy Hill Farm offers low cost elopement packages on their beautiful farm. Every time I drive out there I can feel my body relaxing as I take in the sights of the open fields on the road. Just a short drive from Durham, but enough to make you feel out in the country. There are all sorts of animals that might join your elopement too, from barn cats to goats! There are multiple indoor and outdoor locations you could stage the ceremony, with barns in the background, trees, animals, you name it!

Windy Hill Farm Website

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

I love the 1st Corinthians “Love is patient, love is kind…” passage, I really do, it has a classic beauty and truth that has made it a longtime wedding staple. However, for folks who feel it may be a bit cliché and want to do something different as a nod to personal or family traditions, I’d like to offer the following 5 suggestions.

1. Anything from Song of Songs
Song of Songs is a beautiful, sensual, erotic, and sometimes humorous book of poetry found in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament. It’s a pretty short read if you want to flip through it and see if anything resonates with you, I’ve included excerpts of some of my personal favorite selections below, but there’s plenty more in there, including some pretty explicit stuff if you want to shock your friends and family!

SONG OF SONGS 2

My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away;
for now the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away.

SONG OF SONGS 8

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm;
for love is strong as death,
passion fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
a raging flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If one offered for love
all the wealth of one’s house,
it would be utterly scorned

2. Ecclesiastes Chapter 4
This may not be as poetic as some of the other verses, it’s more practical than sentimental, but may be worth incorporating somehow, maybe even just on a program or somewhere outside the ceremony if you’re not particularly religious, it could be a nice nod to your family traditions if your family is expecting to see something like this.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.”

3. Ruth Chapter 1
The book of Ruth has this deep declaration of love between two women, Ruth and Naomi, which has traditionally been interpreted as platonic, but is increasingly interpreted in Queer Theology to be read as romantic love. If you leave out the names of the women it can fit in with wedding ceremonies for folks of any gender, but may be particularly well suited to LGBTQ+ weddings. Regardless of your interpretation, it is a profound commitment and promise for life, and therefore well suited to any wedding.

But Ruth said,

“Do not press me to leave you
or to turn back from following you!
Where you go, I will go;
where you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people,
and your God my God.
Where you die, I will die—
there will I be buried.

4. 1 Samuel 18
Another passage that could work well for a gay wedding is from 1 Samuel 18 (the traditional heading in the Bible is “Jonathan and David’s Friendship”). Again this has traditionally been interpreted as platonic, but I think it clearly works well with LGBTQ+ relationships. David says that Jonathan’s love was better than the love of women to him (2 Samuel 1:26). Bisexual men might particularly resonate as it appears these men loved both each other and women as well throughout their lives.

“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him.”

5. Proverbs
The book of Proverbs is full of clever and humorous one-liners you could easily work into a ceremony or have on a program, the ones below are just a few examples.

Proverbs 13:10
Where there is strife, there is pride,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

What do you think? Is there anything you’d add to this list? There are so many fun, interesting passages, you can really make it your own.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Hi Everyone!

People often ask how I decided to become a wedding officiant. I had just graduated from Duke Divinity School in 2018 and was trying to figure out how to use my degree. I had initially planned to continue my education and get a doctorate, but I was burned out by the competitive and isolating academic environment. I had recently been in my brother’s wedding party, and it was a beautiful, lovely day with him and his bride, and our family and friends. I had such a wonderful time.

I reflected on how most of my friends are non-religious or not in any mainstream religion, and I saw a need for someone to perform wedding ceremonies tailored to people’s unique spirituality (or lack thereof). I’m also a member of the LGBTQIA+ community and know that many of us have an extremely difficult time finding religious groups that are truly accepting of every aspect of ourselves. I knew I could be an officiant that made people feel comfortable no matter their identities. I am also a big geek/nerd and always wanted to be a part of creative, themed, fantasy and sci-fi weddings that went viral…

Read the rest of my story by clicking here to see my intro blog post at Elope NC!